What He Gives When He Takes

The past couple weeks have arguably been some of the hardest weeks of my life. The Lord has taken a lot from me including friendships that I truly believed would last a lifetime. I’ve faced some serious depression because of everything that happened, but in the midst of my deepest pain, God has been so kind as to show me just who He is.

I’m no stranger to brokenness, unfortunately. I’ve tasted and seen depression and anxiety. But each time I’ve held the broken pieces of my life, I’ve tasted and seen the goodness of my God.

What happened to me was something I begged God to not do. I prayed countless times that He spare me this one request. I can’t count the number of restless nights I had, pleading with God for Him to let me have this one, single thing. Beseeching Him to let me keep it. I wept and I wept at the thought of not having it anymore.

But God, rich in mercy and abounding in kindness, took it from me. And perhaps it isn’t that He took it—rather, He showed me that it wasn’t a good thing for me to have anymore. Being the omniscient, loving, compassionate Father He is, God took the veil off my eyes to see the goodness He has in store for me and my life. And, with trembling hands, I let go of my ironclad desire to have the thing I prayed He never take.

The thing I lost was something I had had for nearly a decade. It wasn’t easy letting go. In fact, letting it fall through my fingers was the hardest thing I have ever done. I wept for days, aching for what I once had and weeping for the things I would never get again.

But there's something He is teaching me: God never takes anything away without pure intentions. I’ve learned this on more than one occasion, and I’m trusting He hasn’t failed me now. God doesn’t take something away just to watch us cry. In fact, He weeps with us, deeply moved by our sorrow. We’re His children, and He isn’t a cruel father. He doesn’t take something away for His entertainment. He doesn’t need us at all as He lives in perfect unity with Himself. However, He created us for fellowship with Him. He doesn’t need any form of entertainment; His taking away is certainly no exception. God doesn’t take from us to satisfy a dark longing in His heart. He is so pure, so kind, so loving! He is satisfied by Himself alone, and He has no longing to be unfair or cruel. In fact, He longs to be gracious to us (Isaiah 30:18)!

God takes with reason, never out of cruelty.

I often forget just who God is. I think that maybe He messed up, or perhaps He forgot about this little writer sitting behind the computer screen. But our God is the God of all things! He is the one who calls forth the stars by name, the one who counts the hairs on my head, the one who seeks me out when no one else does. He is all-knowing! Nothing that happens is out of His control.

God knows what to take, when to take it, and why it must be taken. He doesn’t make a list of everything you have, cover His eyes, and throw a dart to pick what will be taken. No, He carefully crafts a plan to help you grow as a person and as His child.

Looking back at what Job 1:21 says, we know God takes, but what does He give? Even further, what does He give after He takes?

After these past couple of months, I’ve wondered what He could possibly give that would be better than what I had. Because I’ll be honest—I had the seemingly perfect church family, the world’s best friend, and great relationships with everyone I knew. But one, little road bump shattered everything. Now, the only stable things in my life are my family and my God. Everything else is unknown, and I’m not too sure what will happen anymore. What could God give in such a case as mine?

I’m leaning into who He says He is: Jehovah-Jireh, the Great Provider. God, our provider, He who is and always will be enough, will provide for me what I need when I need it. He’ll give me new friends in due time. He’ll provide for me a new church family when the time is right. He’ll give me what I need at the exact moment He sees fit. He’s never late in His giving nor does He fail in His taking. And, as I seek Him, I’ve found that God never takes something away without the intention of replacing it with something better.

Or perhaps He isn’t going to give me anything tangible. Maybe He won’t restore the thing I begged Him not to take. But He’s given me peace. Comfort. Healing. Support. Compassion. He has given me the very things I need to heal.

Throughout these rocky seas I’m facing, He’s reminded me of something: I’m a sweet thought on His mind. He doesn’t look at me and say, “There she goes again, crying like a baby.” No, He kneels down beside me and weeps with me. He doesn’t groan at the mention of my name, but rather smiles when He hears my voice.

He gives what I need and takes away what I don’t. And, to solidify the words of Job, blessed be the name of the Lord!

If you’re facing loss, sorrow, and depression, I encourage you to lean into the Lord. He isn’t mad at you. He hasn’t forgotten about you. He’s not annoyed by you. He isn’t sick of you. You are a sweet thought on God’s mind. He weeps with you. He comforts you. He knows what is best for you. He loves you more than you will ever be able to fathom.

Lay your brokenness at His feet. He loves you. He wants to heal you, and He wants to be your comfort. Let Him love you.

And when He takes, trust that His will is superior and sovereign. He knows what He is doing, and He is going to be faithful to see you through it.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

All my love,

L. Taylor